Thoughtful Thursday
Civility Is Not an Outdated Expectation
“Use no Reproachfull Language against any one neither Curse nor Revile.”
~George Washington, Rules of Civility, Rule 49
More than 275 years ago, George Washington copied a collection of rules about civility, respect, and how people should conduct themselves in the company of others.
Rule 49 offers a remarkably relevant reminder for today's workplaces, organizations, and professional communities.
Words matter.
There is a difference between expressing frustration and directing that frustration at another person. There is a difference between speaking candidly and speaking disrespectfully. Challenging an idea is different from diminishing the person who introduced it.
Professionalism does not require us to agree with one another. It does not mean avoiding difficult conversations, suppressing disagreement, or pretending that every interaction is comfortable.
It does require us to recognize that disagreement never gives us permission to abandon respect.
Calling someone a derogatory name, using profanity to characterize a colleague, or ridiculing someone is not simply a matter of colorful language. It changes the conversation. The focus shifts from the issue being discussed to the individual who dared to raise it.
Perhaps even more concerning is what happens when that language goes unchallenged.
Silence can communicate that the behavior is acceptable. Laughter can reinforce it. Excusing the remark because someone was frustrated, because people know one another well, or because an organization considers itself a family can gradually lower everyone's expectations.
Being familiar with someone does not diminish our responsibility to treat them with dignity.
Leaders, in particular, carry an additional responsibility. Their language does more than communicate a message. It establishes what others come to understand as acceptable behavior.
An organization cannot meaningfully expect professionalism from its members while making exceptions for those entrusted with leading it.
Washington's rule was written in another era, but its underlying principle remains remarkably current.
Respect is not an outdated formality. It is the foundation that enables difficult conversations, honest questions, accountability, and meaningful change.
The true measure of professionalism is not how politely we speak when we agree. It is how respectfully we behave when we do not.
This Thoughtful Thursday, consider:
What do our words teach others about the culture we are creating, particularly when we are frustrated, challenged, or asked a question we would rather not answer?
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