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Some phrases get tossed around casually among friends, in private conversations, or in moments of frustration. Calling a colleague a “pain in the ass” during a professional meeting is not one of them. The problem is not simply that the phrase is crude. The problem is what the phrase communicates. It tells the room that asking questions can make you a problem. It suggests that challenging a process can make you difficult. It turns professional inquiry into a personality flaw.

Civility Is Not an Outdated Expectation “Use no Reproachfull Language against any one neither Curse nor Revile.” ~George Washington, Rules of Civility, Rule 49 More than 275 years ago, George Washington copied a collection of rules about civility, respect, and how people should conduct themselves in the company of others. Rule 49 offers a remarkably relevant reminder for today's workplaces, organizations, and professional communities. Words matter. There is a difference betwe

There are moments in leadership when "just do it" is exactly the right advice. Stop overthinking. Make the call. Take the first step. Move the work forward. There are also moments when "just do it" becomes something entirely different. It becomes an order. Push the initiative through. Get people on board. Make the change happen. Do not spend too much time worrying about resistance. Do not slow down for questions. Do not wait for collective understanding. Just get it done. Tha

The first article I ever had published was a really big deal to me. This was back in the day, when I was working as a Model Schools Staff Specialist at our "County" BOCES (Board of Cooperative Educational Services). I had written something; someone thought it was worthy of publishing, and there it was. My name. My words. My ideas. In print. When the editor asked for my byline, I included my name, title, and the organization I worked for. The article was published, and when I

Fall in Love with the Problem, Briefly “Fall in love with the problem, not the solution” is powerful advice. It reminds us to slow down, remain curious, and understand what is really happening before rushing to fix it. We should not live inside the problem forever. Give the problem your full attention for 90 seconds. Ask what is happening beneath the surface. Consider who is affected, what assumptions you may be making, and whether you are addressing the real issue or simply

My parents were watching a video of my daughter’s competition when they noticed something happening far in the background. Across the gymnasium, well behind my daughter, someone threw her arms up and cheered when my daughter’s name was announced. The moment was small enough that I had not noticed it at first, but my parents did. They wanted to know who she was because her joy was unmistakable. It was my friend. She and her athlete live in another state. They compete for anoth

Leadership can become surprisingly sedentary. The meetings pile up. The emails keep coming. Problems arrive at the office door. Before long, leaders can spend most of the day sitting behind a desk, responding to what is directly in front of them while becoming increasingly disconnected from what is happening around them. One of the most valuable leadership practices I developed was also one of the simplest: taking a walk. Whenever the weather permitted, I took a 20-minute wal

As we celebrate the Fourth of July and look toward the 250th anniversary of the United States, it is worth pausing to think about what freedom really asks of us. Independence is not only a historical event, a fireworks display, or a long weekend. It is an ongoing responsibility to participate, to listen, to learn, to question, and to help build a country that lives closer to its ideals. The story of America has never been simple. It is a story of courage and contradiction, sa

Sometimes the most difficult leadership moments are not about one behavior, complaint, meeting, email, or conflict we can see. They are about the pattern underneath it. The coercive cycle of interaction occurs when two people or two groups become locked in a repeated back-and-forth pattern in which behavior escalates, reactions intensify, and eventually someone gives in just to make the moment stop. In school leadership, this can happen between administrators and teachers, ce

Years ago, I was standing in line at the "happiest place on Earth" with my kids. We were away. We were together. We were supposed to be in one of those rare pockets of time where the outside world fades and your full attention belongs to the people right in front of you. My phone rang. It was the middle school principal calling about grant applications. Not a crisis. Not an emergency. Not something that needed to interrupt a family trip. I still do not know why I picked up th

The hallway is quiet long after the last bus has pulled away. A principal sits at their desk, staring at a list that keeps growing no matter how much gets crossed off. Emails unanswered. Conversations unfinished. Decisions waiting. Leadership can feel like this. Isolating. Heavy. Relentless. The truth that changes everything is simple and often overlooked. The people who truly want to see you win will help you win. In K–12 administration, that is not a feel-good idea. It is a

There was a time when the memes felt accurate. The exhausted teacher. The eye roll in the staff meeting. The quiet countdown to Friday. Those “funny” posts about dysfunction are not harmless. They are cultural artifacts. They tell the truth about how people feel when systems are misaligned, when voices go unheard, and when purpose gets buried under pressure. Here is the harder truth. When those memes resonate, they are not jokes. They are signals. After stepping away from the

There is a moment in every career when the next step stops looking like a promotion and starts looking like a reckoning. The title may change, the influence may expand, but the weight shifts in ways no job description ever fully captures. I remember standing in a hallway after a long and grueling Board of Education meeting. The kind of meeting that drains every ounce of composure, where every decision is scrutinized, and every word feels political. What I saw next has stayed

A simple sentence. A powerful truth. One that sits at the center of innovation, leadership, and learning. In a world that rewards speed, immediacy, and constant response, patience can feel like a liability. Emails demand quick replies. Meetings move rapidly. Classrooms are often paced by coverage rather than depth. Decisions are expected on the spot. Yet the most meaningful ideas, the ones that shift thinking, inspire action, and create lasting change, rarely come from urgenc

It takes patience to find the words to say what you mean. ~Mary McCarthy In a world that rewards speed, reaction, and immediate response, patience with language has become a quiet act of leadership. The right words do more than communicate. They clarify thinking, honor relationships, and shape outcomes. When we rush our words, we often say what is easiest. When we slow down, we say what is true. Take a moment before you speak or write. Ask yourself what you really want the ot

Every leader eventually encounters a difficult truth about organizations. Some supervisors do not elevate the people they lead. Some supervisors take ownership of others' ideas and work. Some supervisors carefully curate their image upward while quietly silencing the voices beneath them. Insecure leadership has many subtle forms. Ideas are repackaged without acknowledgment. Credit moves upward rather than outward. Voices are edited, managed, or rewritten until the person behi

The Quiet Power of Women Who Show Up Many of the women who shape our lives never appear in history books. They are teachers who stay after school to help a student understand. Mothers who sit at the kitchen table, guiding homework after a long day. Coaches who teach young athletes how to persevere. Colleagues who offer encouragement when leadership feels heavy. Women’s History Month often celebrates famous names. Mindful reflection reminds us that history is also shaped by wo

Who Benefits From This Decision? Before you finalize the plan. Before you send the email. Before you approve the policy. Pause and ask one simple question: Who benefits from this decision? Does it serve students or adult convenience? Does it create clarity or control? Does it widen access or protect comfort? Does it move the mission forward or preserve the status quo? Every leadership choice redistributes something. Time. Energy. Opportunity. Voice. Mindfulness in leadership

“March is the month of expectation.” — Emily Dickinson Expectation is a powerful word. It will be March this weekend. March sits between what was and what could be. Winter has not fully released its grip. Spring has not fully arrived. This is the space of anticipation. The space where we prepare before we see results. In schools, in leadership, in life, March moments matter. Expectation is not passive wishing. It is active readiness. It is planned to plant the garden before t

“You don’t make progress by standing on the sidelines.” ~Shirley Chisholm Progress rarely comes from waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect plan, or the perfect conditions. Growth happens when we step in, when we lend our voice, take the risk, ask the question, and do the work even when it feels uncomfortable. Leadership, learning, and change all begin with participation. Today’s reminder: show up, lean in, and be part of what you hope to see improve. #ThoughtfulThursday