Congratulations, but...
- Catherine Addor
- 1 hour ago
- 5 min read
The first article I ever had published was a really big deal to me.
This was back in the day, when I was working as a Model Schools Staff Specialist at our "County" BOCES (Board of Cooperative Educational Services). I had written something; someone thought it was worthy of publishing, and there it was. My name. My words. My ideas. In print.
When the editor asked for my byline, I included my name, title, and the organization I worked for. The article was published, and when I saw it, the byline simply read something like:
Name, Staff Specialist
No BOCES. No organization.
I noticed it, but I also understood how publishing worked. Space mattered. Editors edited. It certainly wasn't something I had requested.
Not long after, I received a congratulatory email from our District Superintendent.
I was excited to open it.
Then came the “but.”
Congratulations on the article, BUT it would have been nice if you had mentioned "County" BOCES.
Except I had.
The editor had removed it.
That email has stayed with me for years. I have jokingly referred to it as the congratulatory FU letter ever since.
Once there is a “but” attached to congratulations, the congratulations disappeared pretty quickly.
What I remember most wasn't their congratulations. What stayed with me was the actual message.
My accomplishment was immediately viewed through the lens of the organization.
Instead of:
You wrote something worth publishing.
It felt like:
You missed an opportunity to promote us.
That is a leadership lesson I have carried with me ever since.
Organizations matter. Representation matters. Branding matters. When someone does great work while employed by an organization, that organization can absolutely take pride in the accomplishment.
Leaders have to be careful not to turn every individual achievement into organizational currency.
Sometimes someone on your team gets published.
Sometimes they earn a degree.
Sometimes they present at a conference.
Sometimes they win an award, develop an innovative program, receive recognition, or accomplish something they have worked toward for years.
The first response should not be about what the organization gains.
It should be about the person.
You did this.
This is exciting.
I am proud of you.
Full stop.
No comma.
No “but.”
There will be plenty of time later to talk about organizational connections, communication, publicity, or next steps if those conversations are even necessary.
Leadership requires knowing when a moment belongs to someone else.
There is an interesting tension in leadership between individual accomplishment and organizational identity.
Schools and organizations frequently talk about being teams. We emphasize collective responsibility, shared vision, collaboration, and organizational success. All of that matters.
Organizations are made up of individual people who need to know their work is seen beyond what it produces for the institution.
When every accomplishment becomes, “How does this benefit us?” people notice.
When recognition always includes a correction, people notice.
When praise routinely comes with an expectation attached, people notice.
Eventually, they stop bringing you their good news.
That may be one of the clearest signs of a leadership problem.
Great leaders create environments where people want to come running down the hallway to tell them, “Guess what happened!”
They know the response will be joy before analysis.
Recognition feels simple; our responses to other people's accomplishments reveal a great deal about how we see leadership. Before adding feedback, expectations, or an organizational perspective, it is worth considering whether this moment actually requires any of those things.
When someone on my team succeeds, is my first instinct to celebrate them or evaluate what their success means for the organization?
Do I have a habit of adding “but,” “however,” or “next time” to praise?
Can I give someone recognition without attaching an improvement point?
Have people on my team learned that telling me good news will immediately lead to another expectation?
Do I distinguish between moments that require coaching and moments that simply deserve celebration?
When someone receives recognition from outside our organization, can I be genuinely happy that their expertise is being recognized beyond our organization?
Do I view talented people as assets to the organization, or as people whose talents the organization has the privilege of supporting?
When was the last time I congratulated someone and simply stopped talking?
Celebrating people well does not require a new initiative or recognition program. It requires leaders to become more intentional about what they say in the few seconds after someone shares something that matters to them.
Practice the full-stop congratulations.
Say, “Congratulations. That is wonderful.” Then stop. Resist the urge to immediately add advice, expectations, or organizational implications.
Separate celebration from coaching.
If there truly is something that needs to be addressed, have that conversation later. Do not make someone's moment of accomplishment carry the weight of an unrelated correction.
Make the person the subject of the sentence.
Instead of, “This is great exposure for the district,” try, “Your work deserves to be recognized.”
Ask about the accomplishment.
“How did this happen?” “What was the process like?” “What are you most excited about?” Let the person tell the story before you decide what the story means for everyone else.
Notice your organizational reflex.
Pay attention to how quickly your thinking goes to branding, optics, credit, publicity, or institutional benefit. Those things have their place, but they do not have to occupy every moment.
Celebrate publicly and specifically.
When appropriate, name what the individual accomplished and why it matters. Avoid turning the recognition into an advertisement for the organization.
Create a culture where good news travels upward.
Ask yourself whether people are excited to tell you when something wonderful happens. If they aren't, examine what your responses may have taught them.
I have no idea whether the person who sent that email remembers it.
I do.
That is another important leadership lesson.
Leaders send hundreds, maybe thousands, of emails. We have countless hallway conversations. We make comments in meetings that we may forget five minutes later.
The person receiving them may remember one sentence for twenty years.
That doesn't mean leaders have to become afraid of every word they say. It means we need to understand the disproportionate weight our words sometimes carry because of the position from which we say them.
What could have been a simple moment of celebration became a leadership lesson I have carried throughout my career.
Perhaps that is the real Innovation Mindset here.
Leadership is not only about helping people become better.
Sometimes leadership is knowing when not to improve the moment.
Not every accomplishment requires a lesson.
Not every success needs to be leveraged.
Not every congratulations needs a next step.
Sometimes the most powerful thing a leader can do is recognize that the person standing in front of them has worked hard, achieved something meaningful, and deserves to own that moment completely.
Celebrate people because they are growing, stretching, contributing, creating, and succeeding.
The organization will benefit from having people like that within it.
Their accomplishments do not belong to the organization first.
Sometimes you just say:
Congratulations. You did something wonderful.
And leave the “but” out of it.
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