We Want Them to Talk… Until They Do

Catherine Addor
Jul 4
3 min read

We say we want students to engage.

We design lessons that encourage discourse.

We ask open-ended questions, create accountable talk stems, and post sentence starters around the room.

And yet...A student who talks at the “wrong” time still gets written up.

Let’s talk about that.

The Paradox of Talk in Schools

In our best intentions, we want schools to be places where student voice is at the center. Inquiry-based learning, collaborative problem-solving, and critical thinking all require discourse—students thinking aloud, disagreeing respectfully, refining their ideas with others.

But in many classrooms and hallways, talking still triggers correction.

“Stop talking.”
“Eyes on me.”
“You're being disruptive.”

Too often, we conflate student noise with student disrespect.

Too often, we measure classroom control by its quietness.

And yet, we say we want students to be communicators, collaborators, and leaders.

The disconnect is fundamental. It’s time we confronted it.

Ask the Hard Questions

Before we shift our practices, we must examine our mindsets:

Do I truly value student voice, or do I only value it when it's convenient for me?
What are my own triggers when it comes to classroom “noise”?
Do my behavioral expectations align with my instructional goals?
Whose voices are most often silenced (and why)?
Do I treat all student talk the same, or does bias creep in when interpreting intent or tone?

Leadership must ask similar questions at the school level:

Are our discipline policies disproportionately applied based on student identity, tone, or context?

How do our norms about “respect” reflect or conflict with cultural norms from our families and communities?
Are our classrooms designed for compliance or communication?

Actionable Steps for Educators and Leaders

Redesign Behavioral Expectations with Talk in Mind
Instead of "no talking," set clear expectations for when and how to talk. Post sentence stems. Co-create conversation norms with students. Reinforce that talk is a learning tool, not a behavioral issue.
Create “Talk Zones” Across the School
Design spaces (such as classroom corners, hallways, and even cafeteria areas) where conversation is encouraged. Model and role-play what productive talk looks and sounds like in different settings.
Include Student Voice in Discipline Discussions
In restorative circles or behavior reflection forms, ask: What were you trying to say? What was the need behind the noise? Students often act out when their voices aren’t being heard.
Provide Talk-Focused PD for Staff
Support educators in managing “productive noise” versus “disruptive behavior.” Train staff in culturally responsive communication and how to foster authentic discourse in a safe manner.
Leverage Families to Support Discourse at Home and School
Invite families to share the ways they communicate at home, such as storytelling, call-and-response, communal meals, or debates. Use this to inform classroom routines. Offer family workshops on facilitating discussions at home and build that bridge.
Elevate Multilingualism and Home Language Use
Validate and encourage students to express themselves in all the languages they are familiar with. Discourse isn't just in English, and honoring all languages increases access and pride.

Harnessing the Power of Families

Families are our students’ first conversation partners. They can be powerful allies in helping students develop the confidence to speak, question, and listen deeply.

Here’s how schools can better engage them:

Invite families to classroom discussions or panels. Hearing lived experiences from real voices models courage and community.
Send home discourse prompts. Frame them as “Talk Time Starters” for dinner or car rides.
Ask families to record a 60-second message (in any language!) sharing a moment when their child’s voice made an impact.
Include questions in school newsletters like:
- “What does respectful disagreement look like in your home?”
- “What conversations are most powerful in your family?”