Empathy Is Not a Soft Skill, It’s a Strategic One

In education, opinions are everywhere. Teachers have them. Parents have them. Students certainly do. Community stakeholders, policy-makers, and even those far removed from the daily realities of schools all hold firm beliefs about what should happen in classrooms.

Opinion has a place; it’s a spark. It reflects values, perspectives, and personal experiences. But it is not a substitute for knowledge, practice, or leadership. In contrast, empathy is the deeper current that carries true leadership forward. It’s what allows us not only to hear others but to understand them, to shape systems, policies, and interactions that reflect the human beings at the heart of our institutions.

Opinion Is Personal.

Empathy Is Relational. Leadership Requires Both, But in Balance.

An opinion can be formed in a moment; empathy is cultivated over time. Opinion is often shared freely, sometimes without context or consequence. Empathy, on the other hand, asks for pause, presence, and purposeful action.

In schools, when decisions are made solely based on opinion, particularly uninformed or unexamined ones, harm can be done. Programs can be cut, students can be misidentified, and teachers can be unsupported. But when decisions are informed by empathy, especially from leaders who have studied, listened, and reflected, we build systems that are both effective and compassionate.

Why Empathy Is a Leadership Strength

Empathy isn’t just “being nice.” It’s the ability to hold complexity. To understand that a policy affects a student, a teacher, a family, not just a spreadsheet. It’s rooted in emotional intelligence, cultural responsiveness, and humility.

Empathy allows leaders to:

• Anticipate resistance without defensiveness

• Recognize unspoken needs

• Build bridges across differences

• Make decisions that people may not love but still respect

It’s the difference between authority and influence. And in education, where trust is everything, influence matters more.

How Do You Develop Empathy as a Leader?

Empathy isn’t reserved for the “naturally intuitive.” It’s a skill. A habit. One that requires conscious effort.

Here are questions to ask yourself regularly:

• Have I truly listened before making this decision?

• Whose perspective is missing from this table?

• What experiences might shape someone’s reaction to this change?

• How would I feel if I were in this student’s, teacher’s, or family’s position?

• Am I leading from assumption or understanding?

  
  

Actionable Steps to Build and Practice Empathy

1. Practice Deep Listening. Make space in your day to listen without trying to fix. Hold space without rushing to solutions.

2. Shadow and Observe. Walk the day in someone else’s shoes. Sit in classrooms. Follow a student schedule. Watch, don’t just direct.

3. Ask Open-Ended Questions. Instead of “Are there any concerns?” try “How does this decision land on you?” or “What would support look like right now?”

4. Check Your Bias. Reflect on your assumptions. Are your decisions rooted in shared reality or personal comfort?

5. Reflect and Respond. Keep a journal. Debrief with trusted colleagues. Think about what made you uncomfortable—and why.

6. Lead Transparently. Share your “why.” Let people know your decisions were made with both data and dignity.

The Takeaway: Lead with Empathy, Not Just Opinion

Opinion may start the conversation, but empathy sustains it. When leaders operate only from opinion, especially when disconnected from the people they serve, they risk alienating those they are called to support. When leaders center empathy, they make decisions that honor context, culture, and community.

Empathy is not weakness. It is strategy. It’s what allows you to lead with clarity and care. With strength and softness. With vision and values.

Education is not just about what we teach, but how we lead and who we choose to become in the process. If you're serious about being a transformative leader, start not by raising your voice, but by opening your heart. That’s where the real work and the authentic leadership begin.