Approach with a Candle
- Catherine Addor
- Oct 31
- 3 min read
Fundamental Friday: Approach with a Candle
“Some will see your flame and want to blow it out… others will approach with a candle.”
— Lenita Vangellis
A Lesson from a First Grader
Years ago, one of my first graders taught me a lesson I’ve never forgotten. During art time, he drew a picture of a playground. Not just any playground. His drawing depicted the scene as if you were looking down from above. The slide, swings, and sandbox were all placed in perfect perspective, something rarely seen in a child that age. When I asked how he knew to draw it that way, he simply said, “That’s how I see it when I dream about it.”
That day reminded me that teaching isn’t just about lessons and standards. It’s about seeing how our students perceive the world and helping them illuminate it; not dimming their spark when it shines differently than expected.
Seeing the Flame
Every student carries a small but powerful flame: their curiosity, creativity, or courage. As educators, our response determines whether that flame grows brighter or fades. Some adults, intentionally or not, can “blow it out” through criticism, rigid expectations, or lack of belief. Others, the ones who “approach with a candle,” offer light that multiplies, mentoring, encouraging, and igniting passion.
Turning Reflection into Illumination
To truly approach our students with a candle, we must first pause to examine our own habits, biases, and daily interactions. Reflection helps us recognize the ways we might unintentionally dim a student’s light, or, just as powerfully, help it grow. These questions are meant to guide that reflection and remind us that the smallest gestures of encouragement can sustain a spark that lasts a lifetime.
Questions to Ask Yourself:
When a student expresses an unconventional idea, do I make space for it or steer them back to what feels familiar?
Do my classroom structures encourage creativity, or do they reward conformity?
How often do I recognize the quiet flames, the students who shine in ways that don’t fit traditional measures?
Am I adding warmth to my students’ learning, or accidentally extinguishing it through my tone, timing, or expectations?
Approaching with Intention
Approaching with a candle is not about leading from the front, but walking beside our learners with curiosity and care. It requires slowing down, observing what draws their light, and responding with actions that amplify it. These steps invite us to turn intention into practice, to become gentle guides who help students find their own steady glow.
Notice sparks early. Keep a running list of moments when students light up: a comment, a drawing, an idea. Use those to plan future learning connections.
Model your own flame. Share your passions. Demonstrate that learning is a lifelong process fueled by genuine curiosity.
Reframe mistakes. When a student’s idea doesn’t work, ask, “What did we learn from this?” rather than “Why didn’t this work?”
Create light-sharing moments. Pair students to teach each other something they’re proud of. Encourage them to “pass the flame.”
Protect the glow. Be mindful of sarcasm, speed, or structure that can make students feel unseen or unsafe, and encourage them to take risks.
Keeping the Sky View
That first grader’s sky-view playground reminds us that perspective matters. He saw possibility from above, a place where boundaries faded and creativity soared. As educators, we are given the extraordinary task of helping students maintain that sky view, even as the world tries to pull them back to the ground.
Light Attracts Light
When we choose to approach with a candle, we build classrooms where light multiplies. Students feel seen, their ideas grow, and they begin to approach others with candles of their own. Our work is not to control the flame, but to shelter it from the wind — to remind each learner that their perspective, like that first grader’s drawing, is uniquely theirs to share.
Look for the moments when your students’ eyes light up. Approach gently, candle in hand. When you help another’s flame grow brighter, your own light never dims; it expands.
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